RIP Dale & Clare...Why I'm Irrationally Mad At Dale Moss

 Hello friends,

Now that we have a sane, qualified, normal and empathetic President, hopefully you all can breathe a sigh of relief along with me.

So instead of watching the news while quarantining and having panic attacks, we can concentrate on...The Bachelor. 

This probably came as a shock to maybe 2 people, but America's most beloved couple Clare and Dale, who got engaged after knowing each other for two weeks, have split. And boy is it messy. I have a lot of feelings and most are irrational. I do not know these people. I have no right to judge these people. But if you go on reality television you gonna get judged. 

I've watched Clare's journey through Juan Pablo and Ess was not OK. He was pretty icky. I watched her on multiple seasons of Paradise where she had breakdowns and talked to raccoons. I watched her on Winter Games where she had another brief engagement. Clare is drama. She's not that chill chick who is going to serve you buffalo wings while you watch the game with your boys. Clare is 39 years old, the oldest bachelorette in the history of the world. Clare is  a person who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient,consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. As a 39 year woman who is also looking for love, I can relate. Not entirely, but we don't got time to mess around and date the bad boys anymore. 

At this point in time especially, I don't really think anyone goes on the show for the "right reasons" and I don't blame them. You basically have a 1/30 chance of getting chosen by the lead. Even if you do, the chances of being the next Trista and Ryan have proven to be pretty slim. You do however have a LOT of chances to increase Instagram followers and solidify brand deals with Revolve, FabFitFun, and Hello Fresh. And no shame in that game. However, I do think there are people who are also open to the fact that they could fall in love and are decent enough to be honest and make tough decisions if it means sparing someone heartbreak. 

Dale was not on this show for the right reasons. Nay nay. I think we all hoped we'd be wrong about him and he'd be another Jordan Rodgers. Also, NAY NAY. Jordan is a delicious gourmet Casa Vega burrito and Dale is a bad taco attached to a gas station (more on that later). 

I don't think Clare is perfect. It was painful to see how she was treating some of the other men. Men who genuinely seemed interested in her and who were there for her. I definitely think production encouraged certain things and once they got the idea of replacing her with Tayshia, they were off to the races.  At 39, Clare knows what she wants. That was touted all through her promos, by all of Bachelor Nation and even by Clare herself. So of course she could take one look at a man and be like "I know. Obviously. I'm 39 and I know!" I'm kidding. 

I'm 39 and I think I know what I want. I definitely know things I don't want. I can't imagine I could lock eyes on a man (even one as beautiful as Dale) and say that is my husband. I still need time. My last date (who I facetimed with every single day for a month) ended up angrily throwing his socks in my trashcan and yelling at me for wearing too much makeup. Don't ask, So even at 39 with all my experience, I can't be sure of anything. Especially not in two weeks. I need to see my man with my family, with my friends, my dogs, around children. I'd need to see how he treats waitresses, neighbors. I need to have important conversations about our future, where we'd live, how many babies, the timeline for babies, who they voted for an why, these would all be very important for me to address before grabbing that gorgeous Neil Lane. 

I feel like Claire got jipped out of the process. Producers saw the opportunity to bring in Tayshia and stir in new drama and they went for it. But Clare did put all of her eggs in the unstable Dale basket and that was a huge risk. What makes me mad in this case is the men on the show knew what Clare is about. If they didn't, they had months in Quarantine to figure it out.  They knew she is realllly ready for marriage and babies. They know she needs to live in California to take care of her mom. 

When the producers pretty much blindsided Dale and were like "I know it's only been like a week, but Clare knows what she wants. It's you. So go off and propose like a good contestant." I don't blame him for being like say whaaaa? Again, I'm sure he felt very pressured, but he should have learned a thing or two from past contestants. Like Cassie. And most recently Sarah. These girls who found themselves in that "oh fuck, I'm  a frontrunner and I don't think I can actually do this" situation. He should have said I'm here for you and I want to see if we can work, but I need to know you better. I'm ready to date and see what happens, but if you need someone to be sure right now, I'm not it. Then perhaps Clare may have given some of these other guys a chance or at least not have been so blindsided.

Did you all see that interview where they were asked 'what's next?" Clare blurted out "Babies!" and Dale looked a very scared deer in headlights. He was like um... we may grab some dinner later." Dale did not want no babies and it was clear as a bright blue sky. Awkward. 

Did Also, I'm about to go off on a random tangent, but I feel like Cassie Randolph deserves some credit. When Colton jumped the fence for her and asked for a second chance, she really had no choice. To say no again would deprive America the love story they hoped for and she would have been hated. Which really isn't fair. She could have been like dude, I said no. I'm not feeling it. I left." That would have been totally valid, but not in Bachelor world. I honestly expected her to say yes, give it a couple months and be like "see, I tried!" That girl tried for two years!! And then she had to put out a restraining order. Still, she has not said one bad thing about Colton. She did not milk that situation for press. Cassie Randolph is a class act and as far as I'm concerned, she deserves all the brand endorsements the social media world has to offer. 

OK now here's where I'm about to get real real mad. Irrationally mad, but I have a lot of feelings. When a public couple breaks up,  it should be done very mutually with both parties signed off on the statement and when/how it will be released to the world. That said, if one person is to release the statement first, I think it's proper etiquette that the lead of the show, you know the person whose journey we all watched, the person we were invested in, should be the one to make the break up statement. I guess Dale missed that memo because he took it upon himself to write his own statement (though the wording implied he was speaking for both of them) and posted on Instagram. Although he deleted it shortly after, the internet is a magical place so i'll let you take a gander. 

Don't be fooled by all the "we" talk. This is allll Dale. Because a little while later and after a long consult with some wise racoons, Clara had a little something to say herself. 

As you can imagine, many people were quick to side with Clare. The 39 year old woman who made everything she wanted very clear. The 39 year old woman who is caring for her dying mother and just needs a good man who is ready to give her babies! Or at least really try. PS: As someone who is also 39, I don't think we are old. Just in Bachelor world. 

You know what she doesn't need? A guy who has to get on instgram to tell his side first because he was DONE. One minute it was reported they were taking time apart and the next Dale is DONE. He really needed us to know he is done.  Also, he knows there's gonna be cheating allegations. Now let's get to the fact that CALLED THE PAPARRAZI to set up a "geez what a coincidence to see you outside of the food store this evening." I would bet money that no paparazzi just happened to be waiting outside of a food store in New York hoping to spot a reality star. HE CALLED THEM. Clare dodged a clout chasing bullet. I could forgive Dale for giving in to all the pressure and proposing. Also, just because you are ready for marriage in theory, doesn't mean you are ready to propose to someone you met two weeks ago. If he had a spine or balls, he would have said that, but again...I can forgive because I can't imagine the pressure. I can't forgive how he's handled their breakup. Dale does not deserve to be the Bachelor. He does not deserve to go to Paradise. He deserves to model Halloween costumes for all eternity.

Having said that, I don't want Clare to be the Bachelorette again. Even though I think she got ripped off and was given a bad edit, I don't think she was a very good Bachelorette. I think she needs to move far away from this franchise and find a nice accountant or something. I truly hope she finds love with someone who really does show up for her. 

Look I'm a taco!

Now that I've expressed all of my irrational feelings, we can get back to Matt James, who I'm loving. He seems like such a genuine gentleman, he is easy on the eyes and I hope he doesn't prove me wrong. Don't prove me wrong Matt and stay a Casa Vega burrito!  

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