I've watched every season of the Bachelor/The Bachelorette. Every.Single.Season. I watched Brad Womack choose no one, I watched Trista fall in love with Ryan, I watched Jerry O'Connell's brother Charlie make the most rational decision of any person ever on this franchise. He asked if he could date both women in real life before making such a big decision. I watched this show before it was about Instagram followers and gummy vitamins and it seemed like people really wanted to fall in love.
Arie is a needle dick!
Please excuse me, I can't control myself. I'm so mad, I was literally screaming at my television and scaring my dog. Every season, I honestly want the couple to last. I want to believe their beautiful proposals are real. I take comfort seeing the beautiful girls with perfectly curled hair, crying in the limo after being dumped because if they can get dumped, anyone can. For all the heartbreaks and returned Neil Lane diamonds, there are the Ashley's and JP's, Sean and Catherine's. Heck, even Jason and Molly. We want to believe that love can still be a fairy tale. Arie Lyenduk Jr. is here to tell ya...sometimes the prince is really a frog. A frog in Mr. Roger's sweaters.
I believe that you can be in love with two different people especially in that situation. You meet amazing people who offer different things, bring out different things in you and challenge you in different ways. It's OK to feel that way. Ess not OK to do what Arie did. (a little Juan Pablo reference for ya. Somewhere Juan Pablo is a happy camper knowing he is no longer the worst Bachelor in history. It's how I imagine George W. Bush feels in the wake of Trump. Like see, I wasn't so bad now was I? Sorry, I went off on a tangent).
I am pretty sure that 99.9 percent of the leads pretend to be conflicted up until the final day, but they really have known for a while who they want to be with. At least, one would hope that would be the case because proposing marriage to someone when you are completely torn between two people mere minutes ago seems silly no? Jason Mesnick was clearly an exception to this rule. I also didn't understand how Desiree could be so devastated about Brooks and then accept Chris's proposal. Or how Rachel could have that emotional conversation with Peter and then end up with Bryan. Still, those couples have all proved me wrong and are still together so...I don't fucking know. I just feel like when in doubt...don't propose. Be Charlie O'Connell!
I had a psychologist once tell me that "should" is not a word that should be in one's vocabulary. When you make a decision based on what you think others want you to do or what is normal for our society, you probably won't be happy. I feel like Arie felt like he should choose Becca. His family wanted him to choose Becca. America wanted him to choose to Becca. Like he said, logically she was the best choice. She's smart, she actually speaks, she's different from the blonde barbie's he usually dates (ie: Lauren). How could America think he was the worst bachelor when he picked such a great girl?
Should is Arie's worst enemy. He should see my psychologist. Arie, if you're reading this...I'll hook you up,. She's fantastic.
I'm all for following your heart. If Arie felt pressure to propose, to make his family happy, to make America happy...I can sort of understand. I still don't think he should have proposed. I don't think he should have robbed Becca of that precious and once in a lifetime moment that she can never get back. But he didn't stop there. He decided that the best way to dump her for another girl would be to blindside her. On camera. For all of America to watch.
ARIE IS A NEEDLE DICK!!!
Was he paid to do this? Held up at gun point? Did Jason Mesnick not get an opportunity to warn him and stop the madness? Why on earth would he break her heart into a million pieces on camera? Becca handled it like a champ. I would have thrown things. Hell, I was throwing things and i don't even know these people. And then she asks him to leave and he just sits there staring at her like a sociopath. LEAVE! I screamed. My dog started barking. Even Scott Foley from Felicity is tweeting for him to let the poor girl cry in peace. He kept waiting for her to tell him it was OK. That he wouldn't be the most hated man in America. Where was Chris Harrison to break this up? Why wasn't anyone like this is really, really wrong? Are ratings really worth doing this to some sweet girl?
Getting your heart broken sucks. I can't imagine getting my heart broken in front of the world. My mom was like she signed up for this and I'm like no, no she did not. Before a one on one date or a rose ceremony, the girls know there is a chance they could be going home. This was just cruel. Do you think Sean Lowe would do this? Do you think Ben Higgins would do this? Even Jason Mesnick wishes that he had handled things differently and how he handled things was better than this.
WANTED: For being a needle dick
Now you may be asking yourself why I care so much. This is a good question. Speaking of my therapist, it may be time for a tune up. But this strikes a personal cord with me because I've been strung along. I was a guy who was too much of a needle dick to let me go. He knew I wasn't the one, he knew he wasn't sure about me, but it was easier to just be with me then to be an asshole. However in trying to be the "good guy," he was actually the biggest asshole of them all.
The thing is, Becca is going to be the Bachelorette. She's going to end up with someone who is a gazillion times better than Arie because the Bachelorette always does. She will find the Jordan to her Jojo, The JP to her Ashley, the Ryan to her Trista. Six months from now, Arie and Lauren will be broken up and he will be sliding into the DM's of the girls from Peter's season (because Peter WILL be the next Bachelor). He will be trolling Paradise like the old creepy Uncle, while Becca is married to someone who looks like Channing Tatum and loves her like Channing Tatum loved Rachel McAdams in The Vow.
So the moral of this tale? Well, it's not over. There is more tomorrow when Becca gets to sit with Lauren and Arie live on stage. I hope they give her a million dollars and a pony for enduring all of this. So I'll probably write more, but for now I will leave you with this. Take the word "should" out of your vocabulary. Follow your heart, but try not to hurt people in the process. And if you're forced to hurt people in the process, don't bring a camera crew with you to record the damage. Don't propose to someone if you're not sure about her. Don't string someone along if you're not sure. Don't be selfish. Don't be a needle dick. No one loves that.
PS: I thought I should say something about makeup. So go buy the Latte palette from Dominique cosmetics and the Pillow Talk highlight from Ofra.
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