The past few weekends I could barely get out of bed. This is common when you are suffering from depression and your meds stop working. People probably assume I'm out a Hollywood hot spot. Oh who am I kidding, they used to assume that. Now they probably realize I'm likely watching Netflix with my dog. The latter is more accurate, but either way, I don't think people would suspect that I suffer from depression and it can just be crippling. People who really know me can sense things. My best friends told me that my energy seemed low and I really only seemed happy around Simon. When I finally admitted to my mom that my Paxil wasn't working anymore, she said she suspected as much.
I used to think of depression as being a weakness. I didn't think I needed medication or therapy and I was insulted that anyone would have the nerve to suggest that I did. I thought that people would view me as damaged. I thought I could handle it. The thing I realize now is that admitting you need help takes a lot of strength and courage. Therapy is amazing. Having an objective professional give you coping mechanisms and new or different ways of looking at things and dealing with things is so helpful. When it comes to antidepressants, my therapist said something that really resonated with me. There is no magic pill that is going to fix your life, but she compared it to driving over speed bumps. There are some people who just feel the speed bumps so much more and there are pills that can help make going over those speed bumps easier.
With social media, we all show our best lives. Kate Spade left behind a billion dollar empire, a beautiful daughter, and a family. Her whimsical designs made so many people happy, who would have ever guessed that she might not be? Anthony Bourdain traveled all around the world, he ate delicious food, had a CNN show. Both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain were talented, hard working, inspiring and had more money and success than most people could ever dream of. If this isn't proof that mental illness is a real problem, I don't know what is.
Hopefully these tragic deaths will make people think twice before tweeting something cruel or saying something cruel. Hopefully it will inspire people to hug their loved ones tight. If you think someone you love is going through something, they probably are and you shouldn't be afraid to ask or at least let them know you are there. Depression isn't a weakness, you'd be surprised how many people suffer from it. If you follow me on Facebook then you know my finances currently suck. I'm single. There's so much I thought I would have accomplished by now that I haven't. If Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain couldn't find happiness, what chance do I have? But what I do have are the best family, friends and doggy in the entire world and that is a LOT.
